February 23, 1980 – Kirk Douglas / Sam & Dave (S5 E12)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

COLD OPENING
a trip to host’s dressing room reveals he’s very short & has no dimple

  

— The visual of Kirk standing on his knees to make himself look short is pretty funny.
— Good gag with one of the make-up people being seen carrying a pair of fake legs.
STARS: ***

MONOLOGUE
host’s godchild Alexandra [real] is his most loyal fan

 

— He makes a passing mention of his son Michael Douglas when talking about which one of his sons has their own children.
— Overall, there weren’t any real jokes in this, but it was at least a heartfelt monologue.
STARS: **½

WHAT IF?
implications of Spartacus (host) in a Piper Cub are explored

     

— They’re still doing these sketches? I thought the Superman Nazi one from season 4 was the final one.
— Garrett’s trying way too hard with his “funny” body language. This reminds me, it’ll be interesting watching him throughout this episode, because there’s an infamous story about him having a terrible breakdown during rehearsals earlier that week. IIRC, they were doing blocking for a sketch and Garrett was late. After being called over the intercom numerous times, Garrett came storming over to the set, angrily threw his jacket down to the floor, and went on an absolutely INSANE, drug-fueled, nonsensical, screaming rant about various things, culminating in him complaining about always being watched by an invisible hypnotist robot on his shoulder. Lorne and others had to go over to Garrett to calm him down. Needless to say, this whole incident was during a time when Garrett’s drug addiction had really taken its toll on him.
— The Spartacus/piper cub premise doesn’t sound too promising. Maybe because I don’t know what a piper cub is.
— Oh, I see a piper cub is an old-fashioned plane. I’m still not too sure I’m crazy about this premise, though.
— I’m liking Kirk’s overexcitement.
— At the end, the “Man from U.N.C.L.E. / dinosaurs” premise Jane mentioned as the next episode’s topic sounds more promising than the actual sketch they just did.
STARS: **

THE MICRO-DENTISTS
tiny tooth doctors work in Anwar Sadat’s (GAM) mouth

         

— Interesting seeing Harry playing straight man to Garrett’s Anwar Sadat, because there’s another Garrett Morris-related backstage story regarding this episode. After being appalled when seeing how bad Garrett’s Sadat “impression” was during rehearsals, Harry kept pleading with the writers to give him the Sadat role, explaining he could do a much better impression. Much to Harry’s annoyance, the writers insisted on keeping Garrett in the role. Maybe they just felt sorry for Garrett after his aforementioned breakdown earlier that week.
— Garrett’s delivery in this is pretty bad and too drawn out, and yeah, his Sadat “impression” merely consists of him just doing a generic accent.
— “Micro-Dentists”. Interesting premise.
— Good line from Bill about the brushing-up-and-down method being a fraud.
— Impressive giant “mouth interior” set.  I love it.
— Another funny line from Bill, regarding him having drank three pots of tea earlier.
— Good part with the taste buds attacking.
— Out of nowhere, during the big climax, we get a sudden cutaway to Jane and Gilda as themselves on SNL’s home base stage.
— Jane and Gilda very awkwardly explain to us viewers that the show won’t be able to do a special effects sequence that was required for the sketch they interrupted. This is all weird as hell, made even stranger by Jane and Gilda’s giggly nervousness and how unrehearsed this was. You can tell Jane and Gilda were thrown out there at literally the last minute.
— I liked Harry’s guilty demeanor when Garrett was pointing out that it felt like he was being fondled while he was unconscious.
— Ah, there’s yet another ending theme song sung by Bill Murray to the tune of the ending themes from other epic mini-movie sketches from around this time (e.g. The Black Shadow, First He Cries, etc.).
— Overall, a well-done and pretty fun epic sketch, despite the odd interlude with Jane and Gilda.
STARS: ****

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “You Don’t Know Like I Know”

WEEKEND UPDATE
Ronald Reagan’s (HAS) damage-control spot has additional ethnic jokes
ALF supports reinstating the draft- it will only affect him positively

     

— For the first time in a while, we get another Update where the background international clocks have joke labels. One of the clocks seen behind Jane is labeled “Timex” (as seen in the third screencap above).
— And now, one of the clocks seen behind Bill is labeled “Bulova” (as seen in the fourth screencap above).
— Bill’s whole republican story bit was really funny.
— Whoa, the debut of Harry’s Ronald Reagan impression. I had no idea he ever played Reagan this season; I was only aware he did that impression during his second SNL stint in the 84-85 season.
— I see Harry’s Reagan impression was great right from the start.
— Funny bit with Bill revealing to Jane that he lost his virginity at age 9, but his first time “with a partner” was at age 13.
— Haha, and now Bill is visibly fighting to keep a straight face after that virginity bit. (fourth screencap above)
— I see we’re getting another continuation of the “Jane has a love jones for Walter Cronkite” running premise this season.
— Eh, Jane’s Cronkite bit tonight ended up being not too funny and felt forced.
— Al Franken’s overall commentary was very forgettable and a maybe little TOO dry for my likes.
STARS: ***

BAR MITZVAH
drunk last-minute replacement Nick “Collins” sings at a bar mitzvah

   

— Why does the audience keep laughing so hysterically at every single Yiddish word Tom Schiller keeps saying? It isn’t THAT funny.
— Now they’re laughing hysterically when Kirk is saying Yiddish words.
— Ah, Nick the Lounge Singer. I had a feeling this sketch would have a sudden turn where a recurring character makes an appearance, though it seemed they tried to mislead us into thinking this was going to be a normal run-of-the-mill sketch.
— Funny part with Bill/Nick sending the birthday boy to get him another drink.
— I’m loving Nick’s Jewish variation of “There’s No Business Like Show Business”.
— Overall, I didn’t feel this was the funniest Nick the Lounge Singer sketch, but Bill did a particularly great job performing the songs in this.
STARS: ***½

PRIMETIME SATURDAY
Tom Snyder (HAS) seeks flakiness in Republican candidates’ brothers

   

— They haven’t stated who Harry’s playing, but this appears to be a Tom Snyder impression. If so, I never knew Harry ever played him on SNL. Weird seeing someone take over Aykroyd’s beloved impression so soon after his departure; I’m guessing SNL fans back then weren’t too happy about that.
— Paul Shaffer looks funny in that wig and mustache.
— Okay, Harry just did the famous laugh. Yeah, he’s DEFINITELY playing Snyder.
— Harry’s funny in this.
— I liked Harry’s casual statement at the end about Ted Kennedy being an only child.
STARS: ***

KIRK’S GREATEST KIRKS
album has host aping mimics’ impersonations of him

   

— Another sketch with a very enthusiastic Kirk Douglas performance.
— Interesting and funny concept.
— Kirk is very funny doing exaggerated impressions of himself.
— I like how the names of Kirk impersonators on the bottom of the screen keep getting more and more random (e.g. Jackie Kennedy, Jackie Gleason, Alex Haley, Hayley Mills, your doorman).
STARS: ****

MASK OF FEAR
by TOS- break-in victims learn that they’ll be skiing

     

— Yet another Schiller Reel that’s in black-and-white.
— It’ll be interesting to see where this is going.
— “You’re going skiing”? Eh, this plot twist isn’t working for me.
— And that’s it? Not too great. I actually enjoyed the long suspenseful build-up to the punchline more than the punchline itself.
STARS: **

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Soul Man”

WOMEN’S BATHROOM
at Sardi’s, bathroom attendant (GIR) gets host’s autograph on paper towel

   

— Feels like we’ve barely seen Gilda all night. Looks like this could be an interesting character for her; it seems different from her usual types of characters.
— I like the part with Gilda confusing Kirk for other lead actors by quoting famous lines he never said.
— Overall, I wasn’t too crazy about this sketch as a whole, and I didn’t like Gilda’s character as much as I thought I would.
STARS: **½

GOODNIGHTS

 

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IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS:
— A fairly forgettable episode that, while not too bad, felt like nothing special as a whole. The big centerpiece sketch of the night, Micro-Dentists, was strong and there was also a Nick the Lounge Singer installment that was carried by a particularly great Bill Murray performance, but they were surrounded by a lot of average or ho-hum material.
— Kirk Douglas was a fun, likable host, and had a lot of infectious enthusiasm in his performances. I wish he had hosted during an earlier season in this era, back when the writing was better.

HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Elliott Gould):
— a moderate step up

My full set of screencaps for this episode is here

TOMORROW:
Rodney Dangerfield