October 31, 1987 – Dabney Coleman / The Cars (S13 E3)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

COLD OPENING
Lifestyles Of The Rich, Famous, & Scary- Elvira (Cassandra Peterson)

— I like this concept, and the opening credits sequence is pretty fun with the photos of terrifying celebrities.
— Nice inclusion of Elvira.
— The joke of Ric Ocasek being mistaken for Keith Richards was already used in a Church Chat sketch from last season.
— An overall decent if somewhat short cold opening, and an appropriate way to kick off tonight’s Halloween episode.
STARS: ***


MONOLOGUE
(no synopsis available)

— Another short segment tonight, but Dabney had some good lines and he came off funny as expected.
STARS: ***


NATURE’S BROOM
Peggy Lee (NOD) sings “Fiber” to encourage use of bran, “Nature’s Broom”

— Random but funny subject matter for this Fever spoof.
— Very catchy song, and a lot of the altered lyrics are funny.
STARS: ***½


CAMPFIRE STORIES
a scoutmaster (host) tells a scary campfire story about his ex-wife

— Ha, now I see where Dabney’s “beautiful woman in white” story is going.
— I’m noticing that Jon is still coughing frequently tonight, just like how I pointed out he did throughout the previous episode. He must still have a cold.
— Yep, I was right about the direction of Dabney’s story turning out to be about how sour his marriage to his wife has gotten, a story that Dabney is pulling off  well.
— Loved Dabney’s line about instead of retaining water, his wife retains Twinkies and Old Milwaukee.
— Funny ending with the moral of the story being “women are no damn good”.
STARS: ***½


THE WINNING SPIRIT
a blind man (host) is bitter about his disability

— I like Dabney hinting that the cause of his blindness was “porcupine-oriented”.
— Love Dabney’s constant bitterness and sarcasm over his blindness.
— Funny little part where, after Jan forcefully makes Dabney feel her face with his hand, Dabney worriedly tends to his hand and asks “Did I get it in your nose?”
— Jan’s emotional breakdown after Dabney’s mocking blind dance is very good.
— Very funny line from Dabney explaining that one positive aspect of blindness is “You can look right at an eclipse”.
— Strong sketch overall.
STARS: ****


COUNT DRACULA, SELF-TAUGHT AUTO MECHANIC
Dracula (JOL) fixes a couple’s car

— Jon’s menacing fang-baring facial expression during an instance of thunder cracked me up.
— Heh, “Count Dracula, Self-Taught Auto Mechanic”. The title alone has a feel that’s representative of this SNL era’s style.
— I like how when Dana asks Dracula what the price for his service is, Dracula responds that he will drink some of Dana’s blood, and Jan explains to Dana “Well, honey, he DID fix the car.”
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Strap Me In”


WEEKEND UPDATE
DEM reads from “Howl,” thinking that it was written by Douglas Ginsburg

 

— Second episode in a row where Dennis sports an uncharacteristic neatly-combed hairstyle.
— Loved Dennis’ line about vice president George Bush being “the Barney Fife of world politics”.
— Very random but amusing bit with Dennis bringing out a ventriloquist dummy as if he’s about to do some kind of routine, only for Dennis to immediately go “No, no, what the hell am I doing?” and then put the dummy away. By the way, that looks like the same ventriloquist dummy that Christopher Guest’s Senor Cosa always used in the Joe Franklin Show sketches from season 10. (side-by-side comparison below)

— Strangely, Dennis has now been delivering a very long string of jokes straight ahead to the camera without using the news screen.
— Just now, something appeared to be edited out when the shot abruptly cut from Dennis speaking towards the straight-ahead camera to him now speaking towards the side camera.
— What? Update’s over already?!? Yeah, something was DEFINITELY removed from my copy, because I noticed before the aforementioned abrupt cut, as the camera was on a shot of Dennis speaking towards the straight-ahead camera, you can see the shadow of an off-camera Elvira seated next to him (the tall hair on the shadow gave her away). A commentary of hers must’ve been removed from reruns. Anyone know why?
STARS: ***


DON’T GO DOWN TO THE BASEMENT
rational actions help catch an axe killer

   

— Jon has the same overall look he had in the Pinklisting sketch from the season 11 premiere.
— Wow, this feels like the first time we’ve seen Phil Hartman all night, though now that I think of it, I just remembered he had a minor role as one of the backup singers/dancers in the earlier Nature’s Broom piece. Still, it’s very odd to see him appearing so little in an episode.
— The constant questioning of why Dana and Victoria are in their underwear is pretty funny.
— Strange sketch overall. I feel like I should find it kinda weak, but I dunno, I found it had an enjoyable charm that’s typical of this era, even if I don’t fully understand what this sketch was going for.
STARS: ***


MARRIAGE COUNSELOR
marriage counselor (host) ignores (NOD), gets chummy with (KEN)

— I like Dabney slowly siding with Kevin while slowly acting nasty towards Nora.
— I got a big laugh from Dabney sternly ordering Nora to “sit your big fat butt down” when she tries to get up to leave.
— Loved Nora’s “I will leave you now to measure your penises!” before exiting.
STARS: ****


MASCOT IDEAS
the student council of a new high school tries to come up with a mascot

— Dana’s idiotic “tiger fight” line was funny, especially his delivery.
— Jan’s character is reminding me of her Nancy Simmons character from the future Wayne’s World sketches.
— Dana’s ridiculous mascot suggestion of “The Communists” was hilarious.
— Haha, I absolutely loved Jon’s idea of “The Frozen Caveman”. Not just because of the inherent silliness of the idea, but because in hindsight, it unintentionally alludes to a certain future recurring character of Phil Hartman’s.
— I like how a lot of Jon’s mascot titles inexplicably begin with “the flaming”.
— Strong ending.
— Great silly sketch overall, and I really enjoyed the way this progressed.
STARS: ****


THE PAT STEVENS SHOW
out-of-body shopping experience; a furrier (host)

— For some reason, I kinda liked Pat Stevens’ “out-of-body experience” demonstration, even if I didn’t really laugh.
— Funny entrance from Dabney in all those furs.
— Overall, ehh. Pretty much the same reaction I have to most Pat Stevens sketches after getting burned out on her during her season 11 overexposure. Not even Dabney could do much for this sketch.
STARS: **


ED’S SECRET LIFE
(no synopsis available)

 

— Well… this is weird. I guess I can’t help but always initially find it kinda off-putting seeing these outside-source SNL films that have no involvement from anyone on the show. However, I’ll try to be open-minded towards this.
— This film must’ve been added to reruns, because I’m noticing there’s no sounds at all from SNL’s studio audience. Maybe SNL added this to replace the cut Elvira commentary from Update. This era so far has a weird habit of doing things like this, where they cut a sketch in reruns to replace it with a film made by an outside source. And 9 times out of 10, I find myself not caring at all for those outside-source films. If you ask me, there’s a REASON these films weren’t deemed good enough to air during live episodes.
— What the hell? A random Heather Locklear appearance? I never knew she appeared on the show prior to her 1994 hosting stint.
— Overall, this film didn’t do much for me. It didn’t help that in the recording I’m watching of this episode, there were terrible screen glitches during portions of this film, which made them almost impossible to follow. Didn’t look like I missed much anyway, though.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Double Trouble”


INVESTMENT FIRM
after losing $78,000 on Black Monday, (JOL) confronts his broker (host)

— Good delivery from Jon during his angry rant.
— I’m not sure where this sketch is going.
— Nice little touch with Dabney brushing the plant dirt off his table while speaking to Jon after Jon angrily broke a plant on Dabney’s desk.
— This sketch ended a bit abruptly in the copy I’m watching of this episode. It appears whoever recorded this copy cut off the very end of this sketch right when the audience was about to begin applauding.
— Overall, a hard sketch to figure. I have no idea what this was going for. I think I liked this overall sketch more for the acting (particularly from Dabney) than anything else. Maybe that was the intention? However, if this was supposed to be a subtle, slice-of-life acting piece with some scattered humor thrown in, it didn’t hit its mark. SNL has done much better attempts at that kind of sketch.
STARS: *½


GOODNIGHTS


IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Kind of a wildly varying episode. Some pieces were just average. Some pieces were this season’s first misfires. And some pieces were great (namely The Winning Spirit, Marriage Counselor, and Mascot Ideas). I will say Dabney Coleman gave the show a boost, as he was a fantastic host. And I liked the way the show used him, putting him front-and-center in lots of original writer-ly sketches, which played to his strengths. I also loved the heavy Halloween theme in this episode, though the theme seemed to subside in the second half of the show. Still, it was enough to make me wish SNL did live episodes on Halloween much more often than they’ve done in their 44-year history.


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Sean Penn)
— a step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Robert Mitchum

21 Replies to “October 31, 1987 – Dabney Coleman / The Cars (S13 E3)”

  1. I’ve always loved Dabney Coleman as host. When it comes to character actors who can play such amazing levels of assholes, he was one of the best easily.

    As for the episode itself, it’s certainly varying like you said….but the few sketches that are great are immensely so.

  2. Have to agree, this episode really made me sit up and take notice of how awesome Dabney Coleman is. He’s fantastic here.

  3. Coleman was surprisingly good as a host.. honestly surprised he never hosted more back then as he was quite a solid name for a few years there. If a movie needed a loveable goof or a jerk then he was perfect for it. He woulda been perfect for the Ebersol years or in 88/89 too. Character actors can either bust or be a surprise as for every Dabney there is a Harry D Stanton who bombs, 50/50 shot either way.

    I loved the Halloween tone to this it made it so fun.

  4. Cassandra’s on Twitter (I think her name is TheRealElvira) – maybe she’ll be able to answer why her segment was cut. 🙂

  5. Elvira’s commentary was about “not forgetting the true meaning of Halloween” and was pretty gruesome. The audience was pretty silent. The true meaning includes:
    —- death, dying, and rotting forever in a dank, musty old coffin
    —- panic, despair, and screaming, ALWAYS screaming
    —- firing point-blank into the head of an oncoming zombie, and all his gross junk starts leaking out
    —- tapping your best friend on the shoulder, then turning him around and “Oh my God, what have they done to him?”
    —- The meat hook
    —- Burying people alive
    —- A skull with like, worms crawling out of the eye holes

  6. “Ed’s Secret Life” was inserted on the first repeat of this show on 3/5/1988. It was not in the original broadcast.

  7. Saw a news article before the season 10 premiere (the Crystal Short year) that had Dabney Coleman prematurely mentioned as a future host for that season. (other miscalled s10 “future hosts” were Cyndi Lauper, Bill Murray, Tom Hanks and Matthew Broderick. Also, Wang Chung was planned as musical guest for Rev Jesse Jackson’s show.)

    1. She did appear on Lorne’s prime-time show, “The New Show” early in 1984 singing “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” (with guest Steve Martin joining in dance during that) and “Time After Time”.

  8. Here is the Elvira Update commentary – some kind person put it on Youtube a few years ago. It is, as Pat mentioned above, gory, but doesn’t really seem so bad to me that it warranted removing. This was around the period of hysteria regarding these types of subjects so maybe there was a backlash or boycott threats, I don’t know.

    1. Great find! A pretty whatever joke, but Elvira has a strong delivery. She’s able to wring a couple laughs out of the quick bit.

  9. Michael Lehmann (who directed the short film) is probably best known for directing Heathers, which came out a year or two after this

  10. I haven’t had a chance to read it myself but apparently Cassandra Peterson talks about this appearance in her memoir. The claim seems to be that due to NBC producing her film (Mistress of the Dark), Brandon Tartikoff wanted her to host, overruling Lorne. When she got there, Dabney Coleman was suddenly a co-host, and her parts over the week were given to him, Jan Hooks, and Ric Ocasek. She also apparently claimed her husband at the time and Lorne got into a shoving match at one point during the week.

    I can believe some of this (namely, Lorne slowly whittling down her role), but so much of what Dabney gets in this episode is so specifically written for his voice it’s hard to imagine it ever being intended for anyone else. The one that comes to mind may be the Pat Stevens sketch, as it’s pretty thin (although I still enjoy it, as I’m a Pat fan) and also has a very very abrupt ending (the only time I can remember a talk show sketch ending the way this one does).

    Anything of Ric Ocasek’s would have been cut in dress, presumably.

    The Jan part also baffles me – unless those were cut in dress too – because everything Jan gets in this episode is, again, very specifically written to her talents, and would be hard for others to play (especially the blindness sketch with Dabney). So she would have been left with something like that car repairs sketch.

    The part about Lorne and her husband doesn’t really seem like Lorne either, although it’s a hilarious visual.

    1. I’m not sure if this tilts the scale in any one direction — whether it was NBC making it up to Cassandra or a factor in her getting an increasingly cold shoulder at SNL — but Elvira also hosted the previous night’s Friday Night Videos.

  11. I think it’s fairly clear what the Basement sketch was going for, it’s making fun of horror/thriller films where they always take completely unwarranted risks with their lives even if it’s obvious they shouldn’t, and it’s often women in their underwear, and you find yourself screaming at the TV like “don’t go down to the basement you idiot, call the police”. I thought the sketch was pretty funny.

  12. The Fever sketch is classic Nora. Great deadpan although I think I saw a tiny knowing smirk in there too, which just made it even more fun.

  13. Elvira said in her autobiography that Lorne wanted her to play the Weekend Update bit straight, instead of her valley girl persona. She said that persona is what her character is known for (and given the context, it sounds like the macabre nature of her lines played straight might not have read very humorous). So she decided to play it straight during rehearsals and change it to her persona during the live taping. So I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s why it was cut from syndication.

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